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Even Though Others May Have Hurt You…

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I will never forget when I was in the first grade, a close friend of mine, (let’s call him He-who-will-not-be-named), said “I hate you!” and proceeded to attack the hair on my head like his life depended on it.

He didn’t let go until my playground guardian angel, which in this case was a teacher’s aid, came over to dissect He-who-will-not-be-named’s little claws out of my carefully sculpted bowl cut.

It was the cat fight of the era according to the popular playground posse.

And when one goes to Bellville Number 5 Elementary School in New Jersey, that holds some weight.

We were both sent to the very terrifying principle’s office, which reeked of Parliaments, and suffered some kind of ridiculous but loud scolding.

Looking back now, the principle’s ferocious yelling did not really address anything but instill fear which had no chance of remedying a broken sacred friendship.

However, I was not really bothered by the hollow consequences of scholastic authority.

The real suffering for me was that I could not shake from my consciousness that someone intentionally sought out to hurt someone else’s which unfortunately was me in this situation.

As a very sensitive ‘artsy’ kid, I just could not let it go.

A week earlier, we were such good friends, talking about putting on a play in my basement called The Beast And The Servant (I think my mother still has a copy of this thirty three year old timeless masterpiece somewhere).

The next minute, I was his nemesis…his target.

It hurt.

My heart hurt which I did not even understand at that age.

I just knew something in my chest felt different than it did the day before and that change did not feel good.

What happened?

What did I do?

Was I a bad friend?



Was I a bad person?

How could someone that I once played, laughed, and talked with about some deep seven year old stuff hate me so much that there was the desire to hurt me?

Thirty three years later I still do not know why He-who-will-not-be-named lashed out like he had. 

We never had the discussion and no one at that time really addressed the issue other than what we did was bad and not to do it again.

I even think we were given detention in separate rooms and never encouraged to talk it out.

There was no communication between me and He-who-will-not-be-named ever again after that.

I guess this was my first introduction to the now common act of ghosting.

I never really received any actual answers to some of those questions which haunted me as a child.

But at forty years old and many gray hairs later, I have done some extensive homework trying to understand why humans behave the way they do for my line of work and is the basis for the way I teach.

I have come to the conclusion that those in pain have received pain, and unconsciously cause pain when triggered.

Even when those things that trigger another are not known by the triggee.

Well, a lot of time has passed and I am lucky to say, that I have not been in any kind of physical altercation since that first grade trauma.

However, I have experienced many other ways that we go about hurting each other.

There are, of course, the global issues which are reprehensible and heart breaking.

But there is also a silent epidemic in which we have allowed ourselves to become complacent.

Our silence is a weapon that can cause a lot of damage.

Our inability or unwillingness to communicate can equally be injurious.

Hiding behind screens allows for miscommunication that could literally destroy relationships.

Even something as simple as a conscious choice to not be supportive or even celebratory for another’s accomplishments can be wounding.

There are so many weapons we use, consciously or unconsciously, that are just as damaging emotionally and spiritually, as He-who-will-not-be-named’s infamous hair pull is physically.

Despite what we may think or even remember, we all have one thing in common…our desire to live a happy, healthy, peaceful life.

We are all doing the best we can with what we have and are always trying to improve our circumstances.

These circumstances shaped the world in which we perceive and cause us to react based on how we are triggered.

However we go about doing that is based on the accumulation of our life experiences and, at the very core, how we received or did not receive love.

This becomes deleterious when these triggers remain unconscious, taking control of our psyche and therefore our actions, allowing us to repeat patterns that are not necessarily in the best interest for ourself or our relationships.

So we never take a moment to look at the full spectrum of relationships to understand how we can truly be affecting another.

We become so one-sided in our needs, that our actions become the very thing that keeps compounding the very cause of why we began responding the way we do.

We get into a viscous cycle of our unconscious pain-body and forget that we are the very thing that keeps it alive.

If it sounds complicated, it is and it isn’t.

It is complicated because we are addicted to our wounds.

It isn’t complicated because our wounds are only trapped energy that can be released and healed through the power of magnetic intention.

But in order to have the intention, there needs to be the awareness and then the will to change.

And in my case, as would be the case for any of us, that awareness and will to change has to start with me.

No matter how much it can hurt at times, I HAVE to keep my heart open without the expectation of someone else’s heart being open.

I HAVE to forgive without the expectation of being forgiven.

I HAVE to find a way to know that my interpretation of events may not be the only truth of what those events are or what caused them.

I HAVE to allow myself a compassionate understanding of circumstances, even when they hurt, without the expectation of compassion from another.

I HAVE to keep inspiring, encouraging, and supporting, without the expectation of being inspired, encouraged, or supported.

I HAVE to find a way to keep loving without the expectation of being loved.

I HAVE to take responsibility and accountability for my experience in this life.

Maybe others will take a similar path.

I hope so but I cannot expect that result.

We have free will within our mind about our experience and the choice is individual based on that chosen perception.

Looking back now, I know He-who-will-not-be-named must have been in pain that day. 

Maybe something happened at home.

Maybe he was going through something treacherous and did not know how to cope.

Maybe he lashed out at me because he knew I loved him as a friend and it would be ok.

Maybe he lashed out because he needed me and had no idea how to ask.

Maybe he just needed a freakin’ hug!

Maybe had we understood these simple yet complex issues…

Maybe if we had a chance to open up a dialogue addressing the root of the pain…

Maybe He-who-will-not-be-named and I would still be amazing friends thirty three years later.

But that did not happen and unfortunately history cannot be rewritten.

So to my friend in first grade…as the Ho’oponopono prayer goes…

I Am Sorry.

Please Forgive Me.

I Love You.

Thank You.

Thirty three years later, I am thankful for that confusing incident.

It has been an amazing on going learning lesson.

He-who-will-not-be-named was never really an enemy.

He was a teacher.
And so we all keep on going and learning along the way…

PS, I never forgot your name, my friend.


Change Is Coming…Let Go Of Holding On

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As I am sure many of you have been experiencing, especially those of you that are highly sensitive, there have been a great deal of energy shifts happening in and around all of us.

The velocity of things is intensifying and the universe is going through a powerful transformation while asking…or I should say…demanding…all of us to also accompany her/him/it on this evolutionary journey.

There is not much of a choice…

It is happening and we have the responsibility to be part of that change…that growth…and that expansion.

If it is happening ‘out there’, it is most definitely happening ‘within’ as we are all connected to the greater part of the creative expansive whole.

Of course, it is very easy for us to get alarmed by these experiences especially if we do not understand what they are.
And yes, there has been an alarming amount of crisis in our world.

However, without sounding trite, in the presence of light, humanity, without fail, is infinitely stronger together than the desperately despicable attempts and actions of darkness.

And it is exactly that light that is calling upon all of us to match its frequency now.
In order for us to match that frequency, many are experiencing growing pains to get there.

Just as we have growing pains from all the transitions of childhood to adulthood, so do we have these similar pains as we shed what no longer serves in order to evolve into our higher collective self.

Very often, as these expansive energy shifts happen, they can cause some intense physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual experiences that may feel like crisis because they quite obviously differ from those in our familiar everyday life.

But they are guiding us to change for our best and highest good.

For the universal good.

A change that aids our soul’s individual mission here on this beautiful planet to help one another get back to the ultimate truth.

Some may feel highly emotional.

Maybe you catch yourself crying or laughing out of the blue without even understanding where it is coming from.

Some may have odd feelings of confusion.

Others may be experiencing agitation, irritability, or even outburst of irrational anger.

There may be those of you that have the feeling of just wanting to impulsively change everything including your job, location, relationships, etc.

Maybe you just want to get away.

There are those that may just do the opposite and want to cling onto everything for dear life.

And then there are those that may even get so triggered by these shifts that they act out in self destructive behavior as a coping mechanism to deal with these changes because they feel it is just too much at one time.

This is an important time individually and universally.

The best piece of advice I can give during these times is to let go of holding on.

I know these times can feel so extremely difficult.

It is especially during these times that we do indeed want to clench onto what feels familiar by believing they serve as some sort of life preserver preventing us from drowning in the unknown.

But sometimes it is our holding onto the familiar that is actually the very thing that is keeping us in the circumstances we are trying to free ourself from in order to expand and grow.

What if the unknown is not the enemy we seem to be defining it as?

What if it is the hallelujah we have been seeking?

What if beyond that wall of our everyday rigid belief system and structure lives the key to our personal and collective healing, to our freedom, and even to the bliss of our true purpose.

To get there, we have to be willing to do the work.
We have to go into the trenches.

We have to be willing to face what is not serving us and LET IT GO to make room for what does.
And we have to have the Strength, Courage, Perseverance, Willingness, Self Trust, Self Nurturing, and Self Love to do this kind of work.

Of course others may be of service but the truth is it is ALL YOU in relationship to your role with the universe.

It can only happen from and through you.

Do yourself the favor and break free from any bondage that is not good to you, for you, and about you.

Then climb over that tall wall no matter how difficult it may be.

Use your blood, sweat, and tears to finally meet your true Self on the other side of what is keeping you from your own personal evolution so you can join in the universal evolution.

Once you get there, I guarantee you will wonder why you held onto all the other stuff as long as you had.

A change for the better is coming.

The universe wants you to be happy, healthy, vibrant, successful, and encompassed by love and compassion.

It is just waiting for you to join in the momentum.

 


The Stimulus For Change

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“For change and growth to occur, there MUST be a stimulus that initiates a pursuit into what’s good and true. Often this knocks on one’s life door as a tidal wave of obstacles. The more difficult one’s journey may seem, the stronger one becomes. Stay intent! The power of patience, passion, and perseverance must never be underestimated.”~#MarioCampanaro ©


Changing The Audition Perspective

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“Maybe it is not so much that you are auditioning as a test to see if you are good enough for a specific role…but that the universe is auditioning the specific role as a test to be sure that the role is good enough for you.”~#MarioCampanaro ©


Creative Healing: Breaking The Structure Of What Imprisons Us

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It is said that doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity.

When we really take a moment to contemplate the depths of this, it is absolutely true.

Who wants to live the same thing over and over?

Staying in that kind of set structure without the desire to expand and grow creates utter stagnation and deprives us all of the gifts of evolution that Life has in store for each of us.

As artists…

As co-creators…

As human beings..

It is in our genetic makeup to crave growth and expansion and then contribute all we can to the world through our chosen mediums in order to continue that expansion process for the greater good.

However, when something new challenges our set belief system and daily routine, defense mechanisms kick in.

Fear seizes us and causes us to lock down on the familiar convincing us that some imaginary net is keeping us safe from the unpredictable tightrope of Life.

But that is false.

It is actually staying in the familiar that is causing our own demise because it deprives us of the growth that can only happen by experiencing the newness Life has to offer.

We MUST be open to change.

We MUST be willing to break the structure in order to experience a higher level of consciousness.

However, growth and expansion cannot happen unless there is a willingness to sit with the discomfort that often accompanies change.

Whether we are aware of it or not…

Whether we like it or not…

There is no escape from this simply because by the laws of nature itself, each and every moment requires a physical, mental, emotional, and yes, even spiritual shift within us.

As we consciously begin to accept this, we can begin the process of truly activating it in our everyday Life.

Along the way, there will be many twists and turns challenging our belief system all the while adjusting it.

Trust that all has been set in place so that our soul can discover and experience the greatest possible evolution contracted for its journey.

As we go deeper into dismantling stagnation, it can feel somewhat overwhelming due to the restructuring of Life from a colloquial essence to that of an acute awareness.

This is the beginning of change in and of itself.

This is the healing and metamorphosis process.

And this process may not always be experienced as what may be labelled as ‘positive’.

It may have taken an enormous accumulation of traumatic and emotional toxins to result in a present state of stagnation.

As these stored poisons energetically release from Life, there might possibly be an unpleasant cleanse mirroring the cause.

We must not be surprised if there are even moments during which we feel ‘locked’ in our head, ‘paralyzed’ in our body, or even uncomfortable and unpredictable emotional/physical pains emerging.

Very often this is the ego trying to desperately avoid change and hold onto its ‘safe identity’ while a cleansing/recalibration process takes place.

Be what it may, trust in the light within the process.

Do not resist it.

The only thing that is holding us back from the gifts of the unknown is our fear of the unknown.

Resistance is fear’s energetic way of brainwashing …and we have come way too far to be at the mercy of it.

When we are able to dissolve all useless fear and its resistance through our conscious awareness of it, and seek refuge within, all the blocks that we feel imprison us begin to dissolve and we can experience the change we seek.

And we grow…

And we expand…

And we share…

And we expand…

And we grow…

There awaits not only personal and creative freedom, but also a delicious sense of peace and wellbeing to be enjoyed within daily Life…to continue to share…to grow…and to expand.

 


If Not You, The Who?

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“What in the world makes you think that you are unworthy of beating the odds? If not you, then who? The odds are not against you. Your thoughts are. Time to change that channel.”~#MarioCampanaro ©


The Three Must Haves

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“If it is not good to you, for you, and about you…it is time to move on in order to open the door to that which is good to you, for you, and about you.” ~#MarioCampanaro ©


Your Breakthrough

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“Every circumstance you meet with resistance is an opportunistic mirror reflecting a path of discovery towards the breakthrough you have been seeking.” ~#MarioCampanaro ©


Alchemy

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“You are the alchemist of your own life. But if you are not willing to change your reality, who else can?”~#MarioCampanaro ©

 


Your Personal Storm Is Your Wake Up Call

 

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We never really understand the saying “the dark before the storm” unless we allow ourself to bear witness to experiencing what that really means.

I think the best answer I can give up to this point is that for everything good and true, the opposite exists as an illusion (for truth cannot be in flux and is at the center of all things good, whole, and complete.).

This is not so much a choice but more so a reminder that somewhere/somehow there has been some dreamt detour from what is good and true and, boy/girl, some growth is about to happen!

But for that growth to happen, there MUST be a stimulus that initiates the dive into discovering truth for oneSelf rather than it being doctrinated by another’s interpretation of it .

Very often, or I should say most likely, this knocks on our life’s door as some type of strife or intense obstacle.

When this so called opposite is dreamt up and therefore “experienced”, there is a sleepwalk away from truth and this temporary season is the series of learning lessons that bring us to that inevitable waking moment.

This can be a long painful journey and it takes a lot of work, patience, self nuturing, self guidance, and intuition.

But without fail these growing pains strengthen our inner constitution and complete our connection to who we are and where we come from.

Yes it hurts.

It hurts so bad that it’s good.

The more difficult the journey, the stronger we become.

So when that dark hour sneaks in, it is worthy to greet it with gentle gratitude as it is holding our hand and walking us straight to our own awakening.

There is no escape and fear is fruitless.

But our glorious metamorphosis is inevitable as long as we are willing to believe that the truth will indeed set us free.